These past forty-eight hours have been really depressing and confusing. While usually I would just ramble on incoherently, I’ve been wanting to try something new: being a bit less in my thoughts when writing, and whenever possible, opting instead to using events as a kind of backbone to the narrative, against which I can then prop up whatever pertinent feelings and thoughts I may have been or be feeling. Otherwise, it’s so easy for everything to get really messy, really quickly.

Since I don’t really feel emotionally equipped to straighten out all my thoughts surrounding these past two days, I’ll just say that Elle and I got into an argument, after which I ended up leaving. This isn’t what I wanted or want, and I hope we’ll be able to work things out. That’s going to take more effort on my part than I’ve been accepting I need to give, but in the end, I know where I want to be and that is with her and putting forth a more solid effort in my recovery. Hopefully, this will work out.

Additionally, I went to the new practice space two nights ago, which is always good, but also feels weird when everything else seems so fucked outside of there. Either way, I’m excited about what’s to come with the band and being involved with the collective. Once again, I forgot to take pictures of the space, but once I’ve gotten around to that, I’ll try and put some up.

There’s more to write on that, but I’m feeling anxious at the moment (always?), and besides, when the two most important aspects of my life seem to be working in opposite directions, the resulting feeling is that of stuckness. At any rate, it’s a good excuse to put that aforementioned concision to practice, so I think that I’ll keep this entry short and sweet and end it here. Seems kinda funny that this is what anyone might suggest as being ‘concise’. Regardless of whether it’s in baby steps, progress is progress.

Cody out. Or at least for the time being.